Refuge

Running so other women don't have to...

Zaira Brilhante

Zaira Brilhante

My Story

As I sit to write these words it hits me. This is not my first marathon nor my first time fundraising, so why does the prospect feel all of a sudden so daunting? And the answer comes almost too easy, because talking about domestic abuse to many of us, myself included, still feels like taboo. 
 
Don't get me wrong, it was so hard to open up about my mental health struggles when I fundraised for Mind back in 2017-2018, but I had learnt back then that what I was going through was almost universal. We've come a long way discussing depression and anxiety at the pub with friends. 
 
But as I wear the strong-independent-boss-woman t-shirt, I realise that it is so much harder to accept you can still be yourself, but also be a victim. 
 
And there should be no shame in admitting that. Finding yourself in a situation like I have found myself is not a sign of weakness. Thankfully, I had a network around me who helped me see a future and, despite all the losses and pain, I was able to reclaim my freedom, my safety and my sanity. 
 
Regardless of all the support I got, it was excruciatingly painful to live through it, not to mention the very real costs associated with having to leave everything behind just in order to preserve one's health, physical and mental. For those less fortunate, charities like REFUGE are the ONE LIFELINE they have. So I can't stress enough the importance of supporting them. 
 
The statistics are distressing as it is, but it hurts more to think they represent a fraction of what really takes place out there. And women are disproportionately affected by it. 
 
Did you know that 1 in 4 women will experience domestic abuse in her lifetime? How many women do you know in your social network? Can you tell how many of them have experienced or may be experiencing it right now?
 
In the UK, every 30 seconds the police receive a call for help relating to domestic abuse. Have you considered how many calls since you started reading this page? Now brace yourself. It is estimated that less than 24% of domestic abuse crime is reported to the police.
 
And the most striking one, yet not something that makes the headlines: 2 women a week are killed. KILLED. By a current or former partner. 
 
These perpetrators are the men these women once placed their trust in, their hopes, and invested their lives into. And this is exactly the very reason why it is so hard to walk away. It takes, on average, 7 attempts before a woman is able to leave for good.
 
The number of domestic abuse-related crimes has continued to increase in recent years with the latest 2022 figure 7.7% higher than the year ending March 2021, and 14.1% higher than the year ending March 2020. This is a horrible trend.
 
We need to change this:
 
    • We need to change the legislation that does not give any protection to unmarried or childless women.
    • We need to make recurring domestic abuse a crime.
    • We need to build networks of support for women so they feel they can voice their fears and genuinely be heard.
    • We need to hold men accountable for their actions.
    • And we need to raise a new generation of young men who are genuine allies and won't feel threatened or emasculated by strong and successful women in their lives.   
I wish I could make this page more personal and open up about my experiences, but like many women I still live in fear and I am still dealing with the aftermath of these events, so unfortunately for now I need to prioritise protecting myself instead. But with your support and of charities like REFUGE I hope we can change this.    
 
If you stayed with me until now, I ask you to kindly donate to this cause and to follow my journey on @runzairarun instagram. I will post more about how you can support Refuge and my campaign as well as how my training goes. 
 

****************************************

I am turning 40 and this will be my first London Marathon, albeit my 10th total and hopefully my first sub-4 hour.    

The London Marathon has become an annual, inspiring and colourful fixture in the world’s sporting calendar since the inaugural race on 29 March 1981: a celebration of fun, fundraising and fancy dress.

Over the years more than a million people have completed the 26.2-mile course – which runs from Blackheath to The Mall, with a spectacular finish in front of Buckingham Palace, showcasing the very best that the capital city has to offer.

What’s more, these participants have raised over a billion pounds for charity and there have been countless amazing tales of human achievement throughout the event’s history – living up to its aim of helping participants ‘to have fun, and provide some happiness and sense of achievement in a troubled world’.

Refuge

Raising for:

Refuge
123%

Funded

  • Target
    £2,000
  • Raised so far
    £2,455
  • Number of donors
    68

My Story

As I sit to write these words it hits me. This is not my first marathon nor my first time fundraising, so why does the prospect feel all of a sudden so daunting? And the answer comes almost too easy, because talking about domestic abuse to many of us, myself included, still feels like taboo. 
 
Don't get me wrong, it was so hard to open up about my mental health struggles when I fundraised for Mind back in 2017-2018, but I had learnt back then that what I was going through was almost universal. We've come a long way discussing depression and anxiety at the pub with friends. 
 
But as I wear the strong-independent-boss-woman t-shirt, I realise that it is so much harder to accept you can still be yourself, but also be a victim. 
 
And there should be no shame in admitting that. Finding yourself in a situation like I have found myself is not a sign of weakness. Thankfully, I had a network around me who helped me see a future and, despite all the losses and pain, I was able to reclaim my freedom, my safety and my sanity. 
 
Regardless of all the support I got, it was excruciatingly painful to live through it, not to mention the very real costs associated with having to leave everything behind just in order to preserve one's health, physical and mental. For those less fortunate, charities like REFUGE are the ONE LIFELINE they have. So I can't stress enough the importance of supporting them. 
 
The statistics are distressing as it is, but it hurts more to think they represent a fraction of what really takes place out there. And women are disproportionately affected by it. 
 
Did you know that 1 in 4 women will experience domestic abuse in her lifetime? How many women do you know in your social network? Can you tell how many of them have experienced or may be experiencing it right now?
 
In the UK, every 30 seconds the police receive a call for help relating to domestic abuse. Have you considered how many calls since you started reading this page? Now brace yourself. It is estimated that less than 24% of domestic abuse crime is reported to the police.
 
And the most striking one, yet not something that makes the headlines: 2 women a week are killed. KILLED. By a current or former partner. 
 
These perpetrators are the men these women once placed their trust in, their hopes, and invested their lives into. And this is exactly the very reason why it is so hard to walk away. It takes, on average, 7 attempts before a woman is able to leave for good.
 
The number of domestic abuse-related crimes has continued to increase in recent years with the latest 2022 figure 7.7% higher than the year ending March 2021, and 14.1% higher than the year ending March 2020. This is a horrible trend.
 
We need to change this:
 
    • We need to change the legislation that does not give any protection to unmarried or childless women.
    • We need to make recurring domestic abuse a crime.
    • We need to build networks of support for women so they feel they can voice their fears and genuinely be heard.
    • We need to hold men accountable for their actions.
    • And we need to raise a new generation of young men who are genuine allies and won't feel threatened or emasculated by strong and successful women in their lives.   
I wish I could make this page more personal and open up about my experiences, but like many women I still live in fear and I am still dealing with the aftermath of these events, so unfortunately for now I need to prioritise protecting myself instead. But with your support and of charities like REFUGE I hope we can change this.    
 
If you stayed with me until now, I ask you to kindly donate to this cause and to follow my journey on @runzairarun instagram. I will post more about how you can support Refuge and my campaign as well as how my training goes. 
 

****************************************

I am turning 40 and this will be my first London Marathon, albeit my 10th total and hopefully my first sub-4 hour.    

The London Marathon has become an annual, inspiring and colourful fixture in the world’s sporting calendar since the inaugural race on 29 March 1981: a celebration of fun, fundraising and fancy dress.

Over the years more than a million people have completed the 26.2-mile course – which runs from Blackheath to The Mall, with a spectacular finish in front of Buckingham Palace, showcasing the very best that the capital city has to offer.

What’s more, these participants have raised over a billion pounds for charity and there have been countless amazing tales of human achievement throughout the event’s history – living up to its aim of helping participants ‘to have fun, and provide some happiness and sense of achievement in a troubled world’.